Domestic violence, also known as battering, is a pattern of behavior where one person tries to control the thoughts, beliefs or actions of a partner, friend or any other person close to them. While the violence may cause injury, it does not have to be physical. Domestic violence also takes the form of emotional, verbal, mental, sexual and economic abuse.
Domestic violence and sexual assault affect children, teenagers and young adults both directly and indirectly. Children live in homes where they witness and experience domestic violence, threatening their safety and sense of security. Children and teens may experience physical and sexual violence by people they know or by strangers. More than 20% of teenage girls and boys in 8th through 12th grade report being physically or sexually hurt by a date - this statistic is both staggering and unacceptable.
Are you with someone who.....
- Is jealous and possessive toward you, won't let you have friends, checks up on you, won´t accept breaking up?
- Tries to control you by being very bossy, giving orders, making all the decisions?
- Is scary? You worry about how they will react to things you say or do? Threatens you, uses or owns weapons?
- Is violent: has a history of fighting, loses temper quickly, brags about mistreating others?
- Pressures you for sex, is forceful or scary around sex? Thinks of you as a sex object? Attempts to manipulate or guilt-trip you by saying "If you really loved me you would....." Gets too serious about the relationship too fast?
- Abuses drugs or alcohol and pressures you to take them?
- Blames you when they mistreat you? Says you provoked them, pressed their buttons, made them do it, led them on?
- Has a history of bad relationships and blames the other person for all the problems?
- Believes that men should be in control and powerful and that women should be passive and submissive?
- Has hit, pushed, choked, restrained, kicked, or physically abused you?
- Your family and friends have warned you about the person or told you they were worried for you safety?
If you answered "yes" to any of these questions in thinking about yourself or someone you know, help is available. You can feel free to call the Walpole Police Department and speak with Domestic Violence Officer David Sullivan, who would be happy to help. To talk with someone about your options, call SafeLink at 1-877-785-2020.
SafeLink is a 24-hour, free and multi-lingual hotline for programs in
Massachusetts.
Massachusetts Coalition Against Sexual Assault
End Abuse
A Restraining Order is a court order intended to stop abuse. Abuse is defined as:
- actual physical abuse, or
- an attempt to harm another, or
- placing another in fear of serious physical harm, or
- causing another to engage in sexual relations by force, threat of force or duress.
If you are, or have been, the victim of abuse you may be eligible to receive a Restraining Order. However, there are many misconceptions about restraining orders, and the most common is who you are allowed to get an order against. You can obtain an order against:
- a spouse or former spouse
- a present or former household member
- a relative by blood or a present or former relative by marriage
- the parent of your minor child
- a person with whom you have or had a substantial dating relationship.
If you are in immediate danger or fear for your safety, please notify the police via 9-1-1, this website is for informational purposes only.
You can file for a Restraining Order at the Wrentham District Court during normal business hours. The Clerks Office within the court will have all the information you require, and can walk you through the process.
To obtain a Restraining Order during after-hours or weekends, please notify your local police department. If you have been the victim of abuse, and require an immediate Restraining Order, you can apply for an Emergency Order through your local police department.
Restraining Orders are abuse prevention orders, or "stay away" orders. There are a variety of ways that the order can be arranged, and there are many different options available from having no contact what-so-ever between the parties, or allowing phone calls and so on.
The Restraining Order is meant to separate the parties, and not allow contact. This allows the victim safe harbor from abuse or harassment, and even helping the aggressor to see the urgency of their problem, and seek help. Violation of a 209A order is grounds for immediate arrest.
Whether you have filed for the order, or someone has filed against you, parties must abide by the guidelines of the order. There are many times where the guidelines of the order are not fully understood. When delivering such an order, Walpole Police Officers take great care to explain the guidelines to all parties, yet, there are still occasions where parties fail to understand.
One of the most common provisions on a restraining order is "no contact", which is not limited to physical contact. This means simply that you can not contact the other party in way; in person, by phone, mail, email, internet, chat rooms, deliveries, voice-mail, answering machine, sending cards or flowers, you can't even ask someone else to contact them for you. If you believe someone has broken a restraining order, notify the police department so that they may investigate the situation.
If you are involved in a restraining order situation, on either side, and you do not fully understand the guidelines, speak with a police officer before doing anything, they would be happy to help you understand the order.
